30 weeks minimum.
Possibly more, but around that time.
Wow do I miss it.
That little 5-10 minutes of nothingness
The crisp burning sound in the silence and peace of the night.
That orange glow that erupted with every drag, casting it’s light across the environment when dark.
It’s familiar tickle
Down into my chest
Stretching as I breathed
Raising my heart beat
Quietnening my head with its soothing
Very thought of it
I don’t struggle.
I have not caved
I can sit next to a smoker and think nothing of it
I’m lucky in that aspect
Lucky that it hasn’t been stronger
Lucky that I haven’t caved into its craving
No matter the stress
No matter the time nor the location
No matter if the sex was fantastic.
I stayed the course and resisted the little white sticks of leaf and (in some cases)
Wood coloured chips.
It’s been hard
Like missing an old friend.
Yet here I stand
Not craving nor climbing the walls nor scratching at my face with a headache.
Simply wishing for a postcard that says
“I miss you just as much.”
But I know that won’t happen.
Just know that I miss you,
You poisonous lil bastards.